A Confusing and frustrating morning

So I sat this morning to catch up on blogs and wish everyone a Happy New Year and began to write. There is a stong and different energy around this morning speaking in the Language of Light which I can translate only bits and peices so far.

Frustrating because I know I know it and yet I cannot translate it AAAAARGH.

I feel strange, miserable yet not. Confused and perhaps a little sad because of the 'trap' that so much of humanity finds itself in - the not knowing the Truth of who we are.

There is so much Joy and Peace in beginning to understand the Truth and yet for me right now there is confusion and frustaration.

Adding to all that our Landlord with the shop we sublet over Christmas has become ickky and basically told us two days ago that we either had to change a few things or today would be our last day in the shop.

we have decided today will be the last day in the shop. Eventhough we can sort out what he wants we do not want the stress and hassle. there is another shop for us - maybe. we shal see - it might all be coming back to the garage.

Cetainly a new start for the New Year.

Here is my confused writing from this morning.



31/12/06

There is but one step between Goddess and Creator.

There is but one step between Goddess and All of the Earth Realm.

There are seven realms within all of creation.

There are seven realms within each.

(Here I tried to create a picture to explain what I know yet cannot express - SOOOOO frustrating.)

There is no diagram to show the relationships of all to the other - all are One - yet different in form and experience.

In the beginning there came the thought of the One to know itself in different ways. So there was a great explosion of light and into seven Realms the One began to explore Itself in different forms.

Each of these realms has billions of points of light which are all a part of the One yet experiencing themselves as separate or apart.

Earth is the most dense of these realms. It is the realm that has been allowed to experience separation as if it were the only truth. It is in fact illusion - yet it feels like truth within the earth realm.

The feeling of humanity of loss and alonement is profound and yet Humanity is not alone and never separate.

Here I stopped and truly began to question why and how on earth I was supposed to share with others what I feel and know - I told myself I was making it up - it wasn’t important and then this came LOUD AND CLEAR...

This is important dear One, this must be known. It will not be truly comprehended by many but the seeds must be planted and you have been called. Fear not Child. We are with you. You have inkling and understanding with your human mind and you also have full knowledge in the Truth of who you are, of what we speak, and yet the confusion and unsureness comes from a true and real difficulty in translating this understanding into human thinking and language. It will come Treasure, it will come. Teach, share, write, speak into your recorder - your voice is your most powerful tool, speak the words. Teach, share, speak.

You are Treasure Chosen. Your journey is great. Your task is clear and difficult and you are Chosen.

Others will help you to understand that which we call you to translate. The Rose will support and together you will understand much. Your paths are very different yet closely intertwined bringing each to the other understanding and comprehension of what you are here to do and of what you receive.

Rest mind and body, there is time enough.

Adonai.

Boxing Day

I hope you all had a WONDER FILLED Christmas full of Joy and Peace and Blessings.

I had an unexpectedly enjoyable day! The few days leading up to Christmas I realised for the first time ever that I really disliked Christmas. It was very healing to admit that - it came from being a child and having the conflicting emotions of WOW at all the presents and horror at having to be with all the people who used to abuse me, keep the secrets AND pretend to be having fun and happy about it!

I cried alot on Christmas eve and told Beloved how I felt. We decided that we will begin to create some new Joy filled Christmas traditions. I gave the pain and fear to the Angels and told them I was done with it - I didn't need it any more and asked them to take it from me permanently.

I awoke on Christmas morning not really sure how I felt - all the familiar feelings of dread and excitement were no where to be found and I truly wasn't sure how I felt or how I should feel!

Beloved and I had a wonderful breakfast and went to do a little more work on our shop preparations. Just dropped off more stock and then came home and got really dressed up to go out for Christmas lunch. We went to the local RSL club with MIL and her neighbours and had an absolutely delightful time! The food was yummy! The company was lovely! We decorated our table with beautiful mauve tinsel and had good expensive bon bons with groovy pressies in them. We saw lots of people we new and had lots of yummy Christmas cuddles.

We were planning to go back into the shop after lunch but decided "bugger it" we deserve a day of rest so we both came home and had a snooze - as you do on Christmas day! and had a really yummy evening just being together.

Today we went into our shop at 6am because we hadn't done anything yesterday and were almost ready to open about 10am (except for mess all over the counter!) and I wrote OPEN on a big board out the front and suddenly there were people everywhere! It was all hands on deck to clean the crap away and be ready for trade.

We closed at 2pm today very very pleased with the days trade we did! We have some FANTASTIC bargains - most of the stock is at cost price - we have had it for over 12 months in the garage and it is all paid for so whatever we can get for it now is a wonderful thing.

I had a couple of enquiries about readings - and panicked - They both asked how much and said "Oh, okay" and left, so of course I decided I was too expensive and no-one would come to me for a reading and blah blah blah... Beloved in her wonderful 'subtle as a brick' style told me to get over it - so I did. Then I realised that the Psychic Fair is only4 days away - wow that has come around quickly! I am so excited!

So, that is my last few days. Some wonderful and deep healing, lots of love, laughter and blessings and a few tears thrown in for good measure.

Sending you all giggles for the New Year!

Why Am I Afraid...

Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?

by John Powell S.J.

"If you and I can honestly tell each other who we are, that is, what we think, judge, feel, value, love, honour & esteem, hate, fear, desire, hope for, believe in and are committed to, then and only then can each of us grow.

Then and then alone can each of us be what she really is, say what she really thinks, tell what she really feels, express what she really loves.

This is the real meaning of authenticity as a person, that my exterior truly reflects my interior. It means I can be honest in the communication of my person to others. And this I cannot do unless you help me. Unless you help me I cannot grow, or be happy, or really come alive.

I have to be free and able to say my thoughts to you, to tell you about my judgements and values, to expose you to my fears and frustrations, to admit to you my failures and my shames, to share with you my triumphs, before I can really be sure what it is that I am and can become. I must be able to tell you who I am before I can know who I am. And I must know who I am before I can act truly, that is, in accordance with my true self."

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Beloveds Birthday. The bestest day of the year!!!! A bit sad this year as I cannot spoil her as I usually do - but I am doing a reading today and all money from that has been set aside for beloved's birthday YAY!

Santa is not coming to our house this year... it feels very different and a bit sad... but we will make different memories and have a special day just the same... an interesting time to investigate what this time of year is really about without the mania of gift giving or receiving. Having no money really is such a challenge. I hate it.

On the bright side - we have secured the use of a little shop in Hawks Nest for January and will be selling of all our wonderful giftware stock, I will be doing readings and we will me making scrumptious coffee & cake SOOOOOO if you want a lovely drive any time over January (It's only an hour and dual lane all the way nowe from Newcastle!) you are welcome to come on up and visit our shop. In the Hawks Nest Mall - called Angels Embrace.

We are also hosting (not me - Hawks Nest) a Psychic Fair on the 30th December at the Hawks Nest Community Hall with wonderful readers and Meg & I are doing a mediumship show in the evening called "Heavenly Whispers". Tickets are only $15.00 BARGAIN!!!!!

So, I will be very busy for the next few days organising stock and cleaning and remembering how to make fabulous coffee - I love making coffee - it was one thing I always prided myself on when we had the Cafe. I made excellent and consistent coffee. Looking forward to doing that again!

Have a wonderful Christmas full of Love and Joy!

Karen

Me & Channeling

Kathleen Asked...

... are you "conscious" when the channeling occurs? I am trying to understand the switching around between "you" and the "energy" that is being channeled.

Thanks Kathleen...

I first began to channel 12 years ago and began with trance channeling.

I channel in two different 'modes' - I do my trance channeling where I go into meditation and consciously call in the energy which I am going to channel - when I do this my awareness of what happens after the energy comes into me is limited, my voice often changes slightly, occaisionally I speak with an accent and my posture changes. I am somewhat aware of what is being said at the time though I often have only patchy recall after it is over. There is a definite change in my energy because the Being I channel is merging their energy with mine and using my body as a means to communicate - I am in a sense stepping aside for them to use my body - though I am too much of a control freak to give it up alltogether! :o) I am very fussy about whom I channel in this way and it is done strictly at my invitation only!

The second way that I channel is what I affectionatley call "being on line". I have never known it as anything else. In this way I am not in a meditative state - I am simply open and aware of Spirit around me - primarily Angels & Ascended Masters - and I 'hear' them speak to me and then pass on their messages - generally I use my own language to translate the messages I am hearing - though not always.

When I am writing messages I feel as though I am "on line" though I write exactly what I hear and the language I use is different to what I would normally use.

The work I have been doing lately is different because when I am working in "on line" mode I am no longer 'hearing' Spirit clairaudiently, I just know what it is I have to say.

I do feel the energy of Amorah become present as I write or speak - though it feels different to trance channeling and inviting Her energy into me - She is already a part of me - it feels almost like She is expanding out from me rather than my taking Her in. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. And it is different from being "on line" because I am not hearing Her, I simply know she is here and what I need to say...

How do I know when I am "on line" and when I am just me - it is a feeling, a sensation of another level of vibration, it is a knowing... I do know when it is me and my ego because I feel it in my gut and I notice how emotional I get, the language is different too.

I never allow any energy to work through me without my express permission - whether I be trance channeling or "on line" - I have really clear boundaries on this and I am always conscious that I am bringing through messages from another before I begin.

The best way to know for yourself is to practice and practice some more to develop an understanding of the feelings, the language, the thoughts & the energy of when you channel.

I hope this answers your question.

Hugs, Karen

And life takes another turn...

I am a lot confused though strangely peaceful - I am different but I cannot tell you how.

I sat this morning to write because I just had to and I began as I have done in the past and then my writing changed - Amorah speaks - yet there was no feeling of anything being different just my language changed significantly and I was surprised at some of the things I have written - yet not surprised at all.

I receive now so very differently - my connection to Self, to Spirit, to Angels & Masters has changed and I do not understand - but I am not frightened - just trying to make sense with my Human mind and it simply cannot make sense of what is happening.

Here is what I wrote this morning... any feedback will be gratefully received. Oh, and the book reffered to "Understanding Ego" needs a little final editing and will be published as an E-book by early January.

17/12/06

As I lay in bed asking for guidance and support I began to see myself and humanity very differently.

I came to know that we are not in truth, as we appear in our human body. And our self Is no-thing like our personality which is born while we live on Earth.

The personality is simply another vehicle through which we experience ourselves. It defines our experiences and affects how we interact with others. It is a creation which contains a series of beliefs, created by ourselves, our societies and by the collective of humanity.

The personality is pre-chosen before birth to make the most of the human experiences chosen for this lifetime. It cannot be changed. The beliefs that drive action and thought however can be changed.

There is much talk of the ego and how bad it is to be in your ego. Know this, your ego is a tool which you have created in order to make sense of your human experience.

The Ego is simply a storehouse of every belief you hold within your mind. It is an incredible and beautiful creation and once understood a powerful ally to this life experience.

While it is feared and hated the ego is a destructive influence on your human experience. Once it is understood and embraced it is a beautiful and powerful tool.

This is difficult for you to comprehend at this time with your current understanding of the ego. However this One whom writes now has a great understanding of the Ego and it’s workings and has a wonderful resource she has been given yet hides away through fear. She too is learning to master the ego and it’s belief systems, so I come to help bring this information to the light.

A book she has written, which must be read by many, is soon to be released. It’s title has eluded her until now but it shall be called “Understanding Ego” in a series of books titled “Tools for Living”

Other titles in the series will be:
Understanding Your Choices - all about personality
Understanding Love - how to Love yourself and others
Understanding Your Human Experience Vehicle (the Body!)
Understanding Spirituality’s Purpose
The Human Experience - Why, How & What For?

And there will be more...

Soon to be released as a series of E-books - then published all together as a hard copy book.

And here I stopped writing because I became just a tad overwhelmed...

So now I am going to have a cuppa and breathe!

Karen.

A New World

The last few days I have been functioning in a strange and very unfamiliar - yet so familiar - way.

My awareness has been split between being exquisitely Human and of this earth, and being pure Spirit and aware of all levels of creation in one instant.

Of being aware that I know so much and yet can comprehend so little with this human body I currently call home.

I know all at one time, everything and nothing.

I have been schooled these last few days about the creation of our world and the seven planes of existence within it. I understand all I have remembered yet to put it into words is a true excercise in patience. It comes and I will post it soon.

Understanding the whole and all of it's parts and knowing my place within it. Knowing I am the sum of every part and that we all journeyed here to experience forgetting for the sheer joy of remembering.

I am exhausted and my body screams for sleep and nourishment. Nourishment it has and water too - and perhaps tonight even sleep as the teenagers next door who have partied for three nights seem to have gone home.

Am-Moorah speaks to me, she whispers and she croons, she teaches and she demands that I be all that I am. Now.

Such cryptic writing yet this is all there is to say.

I am not losing my mind. I am finding myself.

Sleep.

Tomorrow I will share Karen's understanding of the Creation of Life, the Universe and Everything.

Until then may we sleep wrapped in the wings of Angels.

Amorah

If a Dog was the Teacher...

you would learn stuff like:

• When loved ones come home always run to greet them
• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride
• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to equal pure ecstasy
• When it is in your best interest, practice obedience
• Let others know when they have invaded your territory
• Take naps
• Stretch before rising
• Run, romp and play daily
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do
• On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree
• On cool days, snuggle
• When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body
• No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make friends!
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
• Eat with gusto and enthusiasm and stop when you have had enough
• Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it
• When someone is haveing a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

May your day be filled with the Blessing of the Dog's teaching!

Karen

A Peculiar Day...

Before I went a ticket selling this morning I visited a private message board I belong to and read a few posts. As I read it became really clear that I had to post a message in response to a common issue amoung many posts.

I began to write and called the post "From the Angels - about cords..." and proceeded to write the message. I wrote the message, edited it to take out the bits that were clearly me and was about to post it and I thought... " Why have I given credit for this to the Angels because it was not channelled?" I pondered whether I was simply hiding behind the Angels as not wanting to own the message in case I offended someone - and realised that I have done that in the past (eeeuww - glad I caught myself on that one!) but that was not the case here.

The Angels told me that it needed to be posted exactly as it was so it would be received by those who needed to hear it. SO, I posted it as it was and went about my day.

I did continue to ponder though... it felt really different to write and it was me that wrote it but it was not me... hmmmmm

Then this afternoon I was on a teleconference call with the most amazing student!!!!! and she had a look at the message I had written and said it was clearly a channelled message from on High and really powerful. That felt comfortable for me but still I wondered at how different it had felt...

Then, as we talked more I realised that I had received the message claircognizantly - I just knew what I had to write. I have been primarily clairaudient up until now - that is - I hear stuff. I hear the Goddess, the Angels, Ascended Masters & Spirit and I write or speak what I hear... but this morning was so different...

It became clear to both my student and I that my claircognizance has opened considerably and that whereas in the past I had to be able to hear to trust - now I have enough trust to simply allow myself to know.

It is a truly blissful feeling.

Then my student asked me what the word at the end meant.

I told her I didn't really know but it felt like it meant Love and Blessings and I had just known that I had to write it.

Then it hit me... as I sat looking at it on the screen I realised I was looking at the name that the Goddess has called me from the beginning of time.

At last I could speak the name I know so well and yet could never utter or identify in human speech.


I am Amorah.

Goddess of Light.

Angel of Love.

Here to anchor Love in this plane of existence.

Here to Light the way Home.

I am Amorah.

Blessed Be.

Rain & raffles

Beloved and I have just spent three hours sitting outside Bi-Lo selling raffle tickets for our giant Rotary Club raffle with this fine cold cold drizzle blowing in on us and making us damp and cold and blerky. At least we got to chat with some loverly peoples. Will be so glad when this is over for another year!

Am very proud... resisted temptation to fill in ticket selling roster with extra shifts for us - we are already doing more than most. Yay for me - and Beloved said she would kill me if I did!

Wow....... for the first time sitting here to blog my mind has gone completely blank......

Me thinks me needs to eat and get warm....

Back soon!

Ooo Ooo (I knew that couldn't be it! LOL) I have come up with a way to make exceptionally cute Angel Earrings and am working on Goddess Earrings too. I LOVE BEADING - though it is a little tough right now because I STILL cannot find my Bead Pattern Designer software BooHOo.

Warrioress of Beading

A Powerful Ceremony

Doing more cleaning out and found this ceremony I created for myself 12 months ago.

It was a powerful night and as I look back I can see what an incredible difference it has made in my life.

I set sacred space

I called upon
Athena, Kali, Diana & Aphrodite as well as Serapis Bey & Jesus, Archangel Azrael, Archangel Gabriel and all others who wished to be present to support me.

I acknowledged my physical witness, a dear friend who simply sat and held space for me.

And I spoke out loud...

I, Karen Louise, give myself full and complete permission
across all time and space
to be
Powerful
Dynamic
Fully Present
& Fully Energised
from this moment forward.

I manifest right here,
right now
the body that fully expresses in all ways
My Beauty
My Courage
My Passion
My Purpose
My Energy
&
My Light

I command the Divine Light of my Soul
to shine forth from this moment forward
and manifest the physical body that
perfectly relfects the Divine Being that I am.

And so it is.

I breathed deeply, I cried and I rejoiced.

And now I wanted to share.

Koxoxoxox

Put my Bits on...

So, I followed Raihn's advice and conquered the Paypal world of creating buttons and now have my wonderful Witchy Earrings and Swarovski Crystal Decorations for sale.

Yayayayayayayayyyyyyyyyy!

Not feeling so cranky any more.

Please send anyone you may know that might like the Witchy Earrings to my blog. They even have red and white socks on!!!!!!!

As I said - I will do a limited run of these - perhaps 20 pairs. Let me know the colours your would prefer and I will do my best to accomodate. I am making a fabulous orange pair at the moment - will post a pic when they're done!

Hugs, Karen

That's It

BE WARNED _ THIS POST CONTAINS SWEARING WHICH IS VERY UNLIKE ME...


I'm angry



I'm sad



I'm frutrated



I'm feeling ripped off and really alone



I'm so over it



I had just written the most beautiful post - and I do say so myself! - and my f*cking anti virus cr*p sh*t bullsh*t software blocked it as i tried to post it and now it is gone forever and I am really p*ssed off.



I spent the day crying, releasing yesterday - looks like I am not finished. SO much energy moving...


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh.



Here are piccies again...


Behold Beautiful Beaded Festivus Bush...

and Festivus Bush in cognito as Reindeerand beautiful Fur Babies cause they're just so cute.

Now I am going to sulk some more and throw a bit more of a tanty.

K

Today

Going to the Cottage to do reading this AM

Going to see a friend who owes us money to try and extract some of said money

Going to bead

Am tired and ready to blow eldest fur baby up

Eldest Fur baby is limited in excercise and awake all night huffing and puffing and oofing at every noise and smell.

Mother Me is getting very broken sleep and mother me is not a happy girl with not enough sleep

Taking MIL shopping - will probably avoid Charly Square - way to scary.

Looking forward to seeing Raihn

Going to have a Nanna Nap - wish I could do it right now!!!!!

Sending Love and Healing to all who need it this day. Choosing to radiate Joy and Peace for all to receive.

Make sure you ehjoy some! Karen xoxoxoxox

Rules for Being Human

RULES FOR BEING HUMAN

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time round.

2. You will have lessons to learn. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or you may think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth os a process of trial and error experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the 'experiement' that actually 'works'.

4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it, and when you have learned it you go onto the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end.

6. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" becomes a "here" you will simply obtain another "There" that will, again, look better than "here".

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours and yours alone.

9. The answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need do is look, listen, trust.

10. You will forget all this
~ (Anonymous) ~

Beadaholics Anonymous

I am exhausted this morning after a huuuuuuge day yesterday and needed to sleep in...

did I?

of course not - I have been out in the shed for the last 3 hours looking through box after box of crap trying to find my Bead Pattern Designer software because it has had a spack attack on my 'puter and I cannot continue with the beaded project I had in mund AAARRRGGGGG!

I did however find a few beading patterns I have not seen for a while and a wonderful little pattern for 3 dimensional whitch earrings - I am going to make a pair today to give to Raihn tomorrow when I see her at the cottage. They are so cute!!!!!!

I am allowed to bead ALLLLLLL day today because I worked all day and all night last night then did three hours of sorting crap this morning - I did actually sort as I looked and managed to condense 15 boxes into 2 boxes of files to store, 1 box of stuff to bring into the house and 8 boxes of rubbish - feels good it does!

Found this and thought I would share... wrote it in 2000

When I was a child I was captivated by tiny things.
I remeber vividly the tiny flowers hidden in our back lawn. No bigger than a lady beetle with 4 perfect petals. They were the colour of ruby grapefruit and formed the most beautiful carpet.
"They're just weeds!" was the response from everyone I showed them to, but they were always beautiful, no matter how much they were walked on or mowed down.
As an adult I can see that it is for that very reason that I loved them so much. Those tiny perfect flowers that no-one saw and everyone walked on, that they mowed down and disregarded as "just weeds".
They represented everything I felt about myself.
Loving those tiny flowers and seeing their tiny, resilliant beauty was my way of holding onto mine.
They embodied for me the hope that one day, someone would see me and see I was beautiful and not really bad after all.
I am constantly awed and amazed by the way we deal with adversity and at the way the mind and body of a child can be subjected to horrific abuse and still function as a seemingly normal person."

Have a wonderful day and remember to do something special just for you - you deserve it!

Alas no festivus Bush to show

YET....

Simply can't be snaggered putting up the bush but will need to get organised so I can share with fellow SPF bush showererofferers.

I have even thought about putting some lights in the front window ths year - have threatened to for years but never actually did anything...

WARNING - the following is a very long sentence that is bamboozling and very philosophical and if there are any philosophers wish to discuss it I am not at home... 'tis just where my mind went... I don' think I shall ever find it again ...

I have been doing prep for the parenting workshop I will be teaching tomorrow night and it is all about Love Languages and how our children are different now and as I wrote and pondered I wondered if the children really are different at all or if it is indeed us who is different and what would the difference be if there were a difference anyway and is it actually the physical world that is different resulting in different children or different adults treating children differently which of course results in different children.

Riddle me that Goddess!


Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo (picture hand up and jumping out of seat with excitement motion)

I went to my Slimmers Group tonight and eventhough I have been on ickky cortisone for over a week I actually surrendered weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO EXCITED and VERY VERY pleased with my gorgous ample self for being so wonderful! I have surrendered 2.7 kilos in the last 3 weeks woohoo for my wonderful body for letting it go!

I am President of the local Slimmers Club - I have this habit of going to join things and ending up running them... and NOOOOO that is not an open invitation to get Karen along knowing she will jump in and handle everything because that is what she does so well... I am onto me! I sprung myself on that one and have been practicing saying - ever so politely - No. And when Yes just slips out before I have had time to catch it, I am practicing waiting an appropriate few minutes or hours and then saying "I have thunked about it/checked my schedule/need to wash my hair/ have to take the cat to the vet etc (pick any one) and I am sorry but I cannot do what I said I would."

'Tis truly amazing I tell you!!!!!!! People just say - "Oh, Okay!" the world does not end when I say no, the floor does not open up and swallow me and people do not run away screaming - I wish I had known this years ago.

You know what - I love the way - in a blog - just like a good conversation really - that stuff just comes out and you never had even thought about writing it but alas there it is anyway.

Faskinating...

Latest beadey project is coming along - need to put finishing touches on the pattern...

Would anyone be interested in some beautiful beaded voluptuous mermaid lady things... will bead one and post a pic... they are so beautiful... but I want to modify the pattern so they are Goddesses not just mermaids - not that there is anything wrong with Mermaids mind you - I know a few and they are lovely Goddesses but I relate better when they have legs instead of fins!

Did you know I didn't even come here to blog tonight...

Love you all!

Beadaholic

Todays Projects...

and so today...



I have blogged



I have beaded...

I have completed teleconference class with most excellent student!

I have said no to a man who wanted to come and use my printer today- so proud of myself.

I have spent time sharing with a Crone - a wonderful Wise Woman who lifted my spirits greatly.

I have coughed a little less today

I have covered my bed in clean washing so I must fold and put it away before I can go to sleep - poop - I had forgotten about that

I have cooked magnificent lunch and dinner and also cleaned up kitchen as I went so it no longer looks like a war zone.

I have commiserated with sick Beloved - she is still a dreadful patient though!

I have been led in a powerful healing prayer for my mother and I allowed myself to receive.

I have realised that despite everything that happened I want my Mother to experience peace.

I realised that my Mother has not crossed over and she is still hanging around - not necessarily to try and fix anything but to avoid having to face up to her choices this life round. She was the same in life.

I have laughed lots today at my beautiful puppies and been washed with waves of love as they both looked up into my eyes - made me weak at the knees it did.

I have just had a brilliant moment of inspiration while looking at my beaded Angel and now must away to bead pattern designing software and create...

Sweet Dreams - may you be cradled by Angels this night.

Free by Karen

This poem was written in 1984 as I sat in a darkened bedroom between two speakers playing Men At Work - Down By The Sea... I was 15... it was a dark time...

Free

she walks along the beach
isolated
alone

she looks at the faces
and yet
she see's no-one

she reaches the clifftop
turns
watches the children
they can be happy

she thinks of the world she left behind
her home
destroyed
her life
destroyed

hatred surges through her body

falling, falling
darkness
then light

she is found washed up on the beach
not alive
but Free

Copyright, Karen Brown, 1984

Another Day...

What a wonderful and so comforting surprise to arrive here this morning and find so many wonderful love filled comments. You guys have all just made my day - THANKYOU!



Yesterday was a sad day - today is a cranky day. Everything is giving me the sh*ts and I just want to rant and rave and scream - will go to the beach and do that this evening in the cool night air I think - give it all to the moon.



Today I am being pushed to speak my truth and follow my gut even though it is uncomfortable - I love the way we are all faced with similar challenges, we really aren't ever alone - I just don't know how to find the words without being taken over by the cranky bitch-from-hell-monster. Perhaps I just need to let her come out and play for a while and be heard...



I will away today and have another look at Ebay with "This is easy I just have to follow instructions" eyes and see if my brain manages not to melt down...



Here are my latest two beaded creations...

Now I am working on a square stitch Angel - I made a pattern from a drawing I did - I am so excited and am nearly done my housework so I can sit and bead for the rest of the day...

So goodly for calming the cranky monster within - specially beading an Angel I drew...

Hugs and squishes to y'all...

What does it mean when...

• someone send you an email with reference to your blog that says "Hmmmmmmm!"


• Your Beloved shares that they feel unloved because you never do anything for them and then completely forgets you have made 15 000 cups of coffee today?


• The Goddess whispers in my ear "hush..." and I wasn't even speaking


• I have weird dreams about a woman who messed with my energy - blerk!


• I can't stop thinking of my Mum - she passed 4 years ago


• I don't want to think about my Mum - her choices hurt too much


• I desperately want a hug from my Mum


• And I just want her to go away and leave me alone

Crying at 7:52am... isn't that a good start to the day. I know everyone has issues with their Mum and maybe it is because it is soon Christmas - I just want this to go away.

There is no-one I have ever spoken to who understands,- I know there are women out there who have experienced similar to me but I have never met any.

I don't want to admit it all actually happened...

Insight.......... my relationship with the Goddess - powerful reflection of my relationship with my Mother.

Mum - never trusted me, invaded my space, controlled me, lied to me, invalidated me, humiliated me, left me, abused me, abandoned me, inspired me, frightened me, sickened me, loved me.

I have seen the shadow of the Face of the Great Mother incarnate - a chameleon who everybody loved and always appeared to be wonderful, loving and perfect. I saw and lived the truth.

She was not a violent or aggressive woman my Mum - really a very sweet lady - there are only a few of us who really knew her.

And now I sit and think - "I don't want you (who are reading this) to think she was a bad woman" !?! Go figure... still I want to defend her - after all she was my Mum...

And in my head I hear - "Karen, don't share this stuff - it is private"

ALL MY LIFE I HAVE BEEN TOLD NOT TO SHARE because I make other people uncomfortable with my openess and honesty and raw emotion.

I may not be saying everything there is to say right here right now - yes I censor myself still - but I am going to share the bits I feel safe to. This is who I am.

I am not a girl who will keep her mouth shut and yet I have for so long and it is scary to speak out.

Don't know if I am ready for all the consequences...

They do not hurt me now - but no matter what I tried it never worked to stop them.

Today is a day to sit with the pain and love me.

May your day be filled with Peace and blessings xxxxx

May your day be filled with Love and blessings.

Daily Prayer

I am here only to be truly helpful.

I am here to represent She Who sent me.

I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because She Who sent me will direct me.

I am content to be wherever She wishes, knowing She goes there with me.

I will be healed as I let Her teach me to heal.

ACIM T28 with personal pronouns changed

It's like tattoo's...

No-one ever told me this was addictive... though I shoulda guessed...


Before I got my tattoo I used to stop big scary tattooed men in the street to talk to them about theirs (tattoo that is!) and read tattoo magazines and everything -

NO-ONE EVER TOLD ME THEY WERE HIGHLY ADDICTIVE!

Once I had one I just wanted more!!!!

So far have resisted the urge... only one beeootiful Waratah on left shoulder blade... have next one planned though...


I woke up this morning - or rather was awoken by eldest son... This is him...





and all I could think about was coming to blog... hmmmm... me thinks I am addicted already!

Isn't he the most beautiful boy you have ever seen!



Here is youngest son as a puppy...



will take more recent picture for you to admire and gush over our beautiful boys...


No two legged children in this house - only 4 legged ones.


Tis chilly this morning and I have excuse to wear neet feet socks I recently found after having lost them for about 3 years YAY! Very warm and snuggly with little rubber feet on the soles so I do not slip and bruise beeootiful Goddess Body on cold tile floor.


SO today - I will be writing my course propsals for College who desperatley wants to employ me to teach next year. They will want me for all three courses - I know it - I know it - I know it!


Have some poetry to share too - some never before seen the light of day... but you'll have to come back 'cause I have to work or I'll be here all day!


Have a snuggly blessing filled day!

Doodely Do

It's day two of my adventure into blogland...

So much to say so little of the brain working today. Just been shopping with the MIL (Mother In Law) who is cranky for some reason - or she is worried or in pain - hard to tell... Beloved is sick today - tired and cranky and a really bad patient!

Me - I'm back in my jammies and about to sit and bead while Beloved watches the cricket. I am making the cutest little beaded crocogators - I think I'll give them away for christmas pressies.

The shopping centre where we used to have our shop is getting more businesses in to fill the empty shops - must have dropped the rent - bastards wouldn't drop it for us though would they.. mumble grumble grizzle... I miss the contact with the people in the shop and having somewhere to read from and to treatments out of - it was a magical shop full of all sorts of wonderful things - now we have a garage full of wonderful things we don't know how to sell. Garage sale probly - don't wanna do the shop thing again - not yet anyway.

Beloved has at last agreed to let us get some help in to get our place orgainsed for sale WOOHOO! That takes so much pressure off.

I dreamt last night that I had to jump off a bridge into a fast flowing river and tread water until I was rescued by two adorable little blond haired girls. They looked so sweet but their energy was really determined and strong - Warrioresses they were - I was terrified of being swept away and out to sea - I kept thinking "I wish the tide was coming in instead of going out..." Must have been training for the girls because I remember watching them get organised to rescue me before i jumped in the water... tres bizzare.

The Goddess of Willendorf - the oldest Goddess statue ever discovered...

I was looking in the mirror a few weeks ago and realised that this is exactly what I look like.

I HAVE THE BODY OF THE GODDESS!

and I embrace every ample millimeter as the Divine expression of who I am and who She is through me.

I have always wanted to have a nude portrait of myself done and the time is fast approaching for me to do that - not for anyone else but just for me as an affirmation of my ample gorgeous Goddess self.

Here is my latest self portrait...

May the Angel wings of the Goddess enfold you

Karen xxx

And the Light is turned on...

Well, here I am. This is actually my second start at a blog - didn't like the other one - it was all too soft and mushy.

I am actually very soft and mushy but that doesn't mean my blog has to be that... hmmmm...

Why did I call my blog Warrioress of Light - because that is my name - my first name means "Warrioress" and my second name means "Of the Light". I have known this for years and years and always loved it but now I feel the Goddess calling me to stand up and own it for all it's faces and all it's meanings and I am ready to answer the call.

I am the ultimate soft, squishy (yes physically and emotionally!) sensitive woman who also happens to be a Warrioress. Ha, works for me!

I also love to start 15 thousand things at once and generally finish one or two. I am learning that this is actually a really good thing and I do not have to just concentrate on one thing at a time. I have so many ideas and inspirations and I realised the other day that they are not all for me to do - just to have... once I have brought the idea into the world and written it down it is then available for someone else to access and run with - I am so happy to do that YAY!

And I must say thankyou to the beautiful Raihn for her prompting and just-bloody-do-iting to get me started blogging. You are truly an inspiration Raihn and I am so glad to have you in my life. Can't wait till I live closer next year...

Am selling our home and moving to Newcastle for a while - not forever but for a year or two - I get to play with all my wonderful new friends YAY.

I taught a seminar last night called How To Talk To Kids so They Actually Listen - it was so much fun - and yes it is possible - to talk to kids so they actually listen!

It is such a buzz to see the light of realisation in peoples eyes and in their energy when they realise there is another way and that it is actually easy to do!

I must remember to not swear while I am teaching though - I didn't actually swear really bad words but a few words I said were a bit crass and shocked a sensibility or two - need to be a little more professional with my language - but it did make them pay attention.

I also realised that the 5 minute meditation I recorded which is called "Recharge" is actually far more effective at putting people to sleep rather than having them feel refreshed and recharged - must re-record that one with a bit more life in it... see, there's that soft and squishy bit coming out in me - uugh not the right place... gotta get a bit more Warrioress energy into it and a bit boppier music!

Well, I'm off for my nanna nap - can't do without them at the moment.

Hooroo