There seems to be so much pain and release happening right now.
Death and re-birth.
I have realised I did not cope with all the moving as well as I thought I had... on the outside all seems fine - I'm tired and stiff but that is to be expected - yet on the inside I have realised I am a mess...
How did I discover that... when I saw myself last night eat a big dinner - I was full and a little uncomfortable - and then I went back and finished off the leftovers in the saucepan which would have been another full serve. I was so full I wanted to throw up - but i've tried that and it doesn't work for me.
I have gained 4 kilo's in the last 4 weeks - I's pretty clear I have been eating this way for a while and not been conscious of it. The Dr calls it an eating disorder...who knows.
Food is my way to hide the pain, to keep it away so I don't have to deal with it and face it.
Today is facing day. Today I will feel and then I will have my eating under control again.
Depression is not present for me - the dark clouds are not in sight - though right now I realise that if I do not deal with the pain they will race across the horizon toward me real quick.
That's empowering to realise
Wow, the perfume of gardenias just came through my open window at this very moment - how delightful. What a powerful reminder to breathe, be grateful and a precious confirmation that all is well.
Today I will care for me, a day of self nurturing and self spoiling because I deserve it and because it is okay for me to have a day for me, to feel, to cry, to laugh and to get messy.
And I am going to ask the Angels for a miracle and find us some accomodation in Nelson bay area for the easter weekend and kennels to board our dogs for 4 days so we can have a weekend away and some time for us.
Blessings to all and may peace rain softly on you today.
Karen
Thursday, April 5
Saturday, March 31
New Beginnings
I'mmm BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!
We are all settled into our new home - styill unpacking but here and feeling very comfy!
I have just this minute arrived back on line - I have the new wireless broadband Next G thingumy - we shall see how it goes.
i have a new computer for work and am still trying to master it - it is a very funky and cute little laptop called "Toshy" - I haven't decided whether it is male or female yet... LOL
I also have a new car - her name is 'Bessie' she is a 16 year old Camry and she is just bewdiful!
Our garage sale went well we had quite a bit left over and then our cleaner pulled out on us at the last munite and as it happens (I love the universe!) the cleaners we were able to find to do the job at the last minute have a second hand shop they run on the weekend and did a deal with us - they took all our leftover stuff and gave us a substantial discount off our cleaning!
BONUS!!!!!! We were so relieved to not have to get rid of it!
The woman who bought our beautiful wall unit was the one who sold us my new car... so many synchronisities!
Oooooh - the best part about the whole thing was when the big truck came and took away... 15 + cubic meters worth of rubbish! Yes, we had a skip which held 15 cubic metres (it was 6 metres long by 2.5 meters wide by 1 metre deep) and we had it piled about half a metre over the top!
It felt so good when the guy took it away and within half an hour the phone rang with work for me teaching my Kidspeak Seminars and then 10 minutes later the Newc. Spiritualist Church rang and asked if I would become a permanent Platform Speaker for them! yay - just needed to get rid of all the shit... we will be getting another skip very soon This throwing out and giving away feels so good we are keeping on going - oh and the fact that our new house is half the size of the old one and nOTHING fits!
Feels good to be back on line.
Get rid of some rubbish today - it feels so good!
Karen
We are all settled into our new home - styill unpacking but here and feeling very comfy!
I have just this minute arrived back on line - I have the new wireless broadband Next G thingumy - we shall see how it goes.
i have a new computer for work and am still trying to master it - it is a very funky and cute little laptop called "Toshy" - I haven't decided whether it is male or female yet... LOL
I also have a new car - her name is 'Bessie' she is a 16 year old Camry and she is just bewdiful!
Our garage sale went well we had quite a bit left over and then our cleaner pulled out on us at the last munite and as it happens (I love the universe!) the cleaners we were able to find to do the job at the last minute have a second hand shop they run on the weekend and did a deal with us - they took all our leftover stuff and gave us a substantial discount off our cleaning!
BONUS!!!!!! We were so relieved to not have to get rid of it!
The woman who bought our beautiful wall unit was the one who sold us my new car... so many synchronisities!
Oooooh - the best part about the whole thing was when the big truck came and took away... 15 + cubic meters worth of rubbish! Yes, we had a skip which held 15 cubic metres (it was 6 metres long by 2.5 meters wide by 1 metre deep) and we had it piled about half a metre over the top!
It felt so good when the guy took it away and within half an hour the phone rang with work for me teaching my Kidspeak Seminars and then 10 minutes later the Newc. Spiritualist Church rang and asked if I would become a permanent Platform Speaker for them! yay - just needed to get rid of all the shit... we will be getting another skip very soon This throwing out and giving away feels so good we are keeping on going - oh and the fact that our new house is half the size of the old one and nOTHING fits!
Feels good to be back on line.
Get rid of some rubbish today - it feels so good!
Karen
Friday, March 16
Garage Sale Tomorrow
It's here!!!!!
Tomorrow is the day for the GIANT garage sale!
Sunrise to sunset at Budgeree St Tea Gardens...
I'm still breathing and still standing - just.
Karen
Tomorrow is the day for the GIANT garage sale!
Sunrise to sunset at Budgeree St Tea Gardens...
I'm still breathing and still standing - just.
Karen
Saturday, March 10
Overwhelm
This whole packing thing is really overwhelming me... I am breathing and focusing and really telling myself how much we are getting through each time we deliver another load but I am not coping well.
Beloved's knee is really bad - needed morphine last night - which means 12 hours of no sleep then 24 hours of zombie, cranky Beloved - but with no pain! Not her fault but difficult to deal with right now...
I am realising a few things about myself physically as well. I have a bad back - have had for years and years - I know how to manage it and still be able to do things like lift and bend and all the stuff that goes along with moving. I can keep my back to a minimum of pain and soreness while still getting things done... my lower back that is...
I also have trouble between my shoulder blades and especially in my neck. The beautiful curves that my spine is supposed to have, have left home. No beautiful curves here, just straight , straight spine from bottom rib to base of skull.
Part of the problem is my ample bosom and the bra's I have to wear to be able to function normally, as well as car accidents and childhood trauma.
I don't know how to manage my shoulder and neck pain.
It is making me really sad because I simply cannot do the things I used to be able to do. I couldn't even reach into the cupboard above my head to get the spices and herbs down today - pain, agony, hurt.
I could take pain relief but I am so sensitised to medication now that even panadol knocks me around and to take what I need to manage the pain would knock me out completely and then I could do nothing at all so I have to struggle through and realise I simply cannot do what I used to be able to any more.
We will get there, but being faced with my physical limitations - as well as caring for Chris with hers is a real struggle right now. I have always been able to take care of the things that Chris couldn't but I can't now and it really hurts - physically and emotionally - Please send Angels...
Am planning to be at the Mediumship meeting at the Cottage on Monday - a break from packing will do me good - will have to see how I go though...
Love to all, Karen
Beloved's knee is really bad - needed morphine last night - which means 12 hours of no sleep then 24 hours of zombie, cranky Beloved - but with no pain! Not her fault but difficult to deal with right now...
I am realising a few things about myself physically as well. I have a bad back - have had for years and years - I know how to manage it and still be able to do things like lift and bend and all the stuff that goes along with moving. I can keep my back to a minimum of pain and soreness while still getting things done... my lower back that is...
I also have trouble between my shoulder blades and especially in my neck. The beautiful curves that my spine is supposed to have, have left home. No beautiful curves here, just straight , straight spine from bottom rib to base of skull.
Part of the problem is my ample bosom and the bra's I have to wear to be able to function normally, as well as car accidents and childhood trauma.
I don't know how to manage my shoulder and neck pain.
It is making me really sad because I simply cannot do the things I used to be able to do. I couldn't even reach into the cupboard above my head to get the spices and herbs down today - pain, agony, hurt.
I could take pain relief but I am so sensitised to medication now that even panadol knocks me around and to take what I need to manage the pain would knock me out completely and then I could do nothing at all so I have to struggle through and realise I simply cannot do what I used to be able to any more.
We will get there, but being faced with my physical limitations - as well as caring for Chris with hers is a real struggle right now. I have always been able to take care of the things that Chris couldn't but I can't now and it really hurts - physically and emotionally - Please send Angels...
Am planning to be at the Mediumship meeting at the Cottage on Monday - a break from packing will do me good - will have to see how I go though...
Love to all, Karen
Friday, March 9
Today's Lesson
Big day yesterday. Big day today!
Todays Lesson from ACIM
Lesson 62 "Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world."
Forgiveness in ACIM is making the choice to see the truth - the love and to recognise and release the illusion in every moment.
It is not about making anything okay, it is not about deciding to be the bigger person and let it go, it is done with the support of Jesus or the Holy Spirit (in whatever form she takes for you!)
Forgiveness is about seeing through the veil of illusion and then the veil simply disappears.
remember... "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God."
"Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world."
Have a wonder filled day!
Amorah
Todays Lesson from ACIM
Lesson 62 "Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world."
Forgiveness in ACIM is making the choice to see the truth - the love and to recognise and release the illusion in every moment.
It is not about making anything okay, it is not about deciding to be the bigger person and let it go, it is done with the support of Jesus or the Holy Spirit (in whatever form she takes for you!)
Forgiveness is about seeing through the veil of illusion and then the veil simply disappears.
remember... "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God."
"Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world."
Have a wonder filled day!
Amorah
Thursday, March 8
I Hate Packing
I really really hate packing.
I know it is a wonderful opportunity to throw out years of accumulated crap.
I am really excited about moving to our new home and setting up my office and reading room and getting started on all the projects I have had on hold for months.
I trust that we will receive the support we need to pack and move. The removalist is booked but we need help packing and sorting. Beloved's crook knee is giving her hell so she can do very little to pack and my spine will not allow me to lift and pack as I have in the past.
We are asking for help from family and friends to give us an hour or more if they can spare it to help pack and organise for the giant garage sale we are having next Saturday - and I mean GIANT garage sale. More a house clearing sale. Furniture, shop stock which is all brand new and all sorts of wonderful kitchen gadgets, tools and other assorted crap -I mean good stuff.
We have organised for a skip to be here in the last week so we can throw out all out garbage - there is piles of it already - it feels really goood.
Have a wonder filled Day!
Amorah
I know it is a wonderful opportunity to throw out years of accumulated crap.
I am really excited about moving to our new home and setting up my office and reading room and getting started on all the projects I have had on hold for months.
I trust that we will receive the support we need to pack and move. The removalist is booked but we need help packing and sorting. Beloved's crook knee is giving her hell so she can do very little to pack and my spine will not allow me to lift and pack as I have in the past.
We are asking for help from family and friends to give us an hour or more if they can spare it to help pack and organise for the giant garage sale we are having next Saturday - and I mean GIANT garage sale. More a house clearing sale. Furniture, shop stock which is all brand new and all sorts of wonderful kitchen gadgets, tools and other assorted crap -I mean good stuff.
We have organised for a skip to be here in the last week so we can throw out all out garbage - there is piles of it already - it feels really goood.
Todays Lesson from A Course In Miracles
Lesson 61... "I am the light of the world."
"I am the light of the world. That is my only function.
That is why I am here."
Today I am meeting with my new business partner and we are planning and organise our core products and developing a marketing type strategy. (More details will be shared after we have moved!) I am very excited... and I don't have to do any more packing today... I have already done an hours worth this morning!
Have a wonder filled Day!
Amorah
Friday, March 2
We Have a Home!
Oh the sweet joy and relief... WE HAVE A NEW HOME!!!!!!!
We sign the lease today and have access from the 12th of March which gives us plenty of time to move.
There is much moving forward energy again now YAHOOOOOOOO!!!
House Clearing Sale on the 17th of March to get rid of all the 'stuff' we have accumulated, removalist coming on the 19th...
Now the serious packing begins blerk...
Have a wonderful day - I have a new home!
Karen
We sign the lease today and have access from the 12th of March which gives us plenty of time to move.
There is much moving forward energy again now YAHOOOOOOOO!!!
House Clearing Sale on the 17th of March to get rid of all the 'stuff' we have accumulated, removalist coming on the 19th...
Now the serious packing begins blerk...
Have a wonderful day - I have a new home!
Karen
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