Overwhelm

This whole packing thing is really overwhelming me... I am breathing and focusing and really telling myself how much we are getting through each time we deliver another load but I am not coping well.

Beloved's knee is really bad - needed morphine last night - which means 12 hours of no sleep then 24 hours of zombie, cranky Beloved - but with no pain! Not her fault but difficult to deal with right now...

I am realising a few things about myself physically as well. I have a bad back - have had for years and years - I know how to manage it and still be able to do things like lift and bend and all the stuff that goes along with moving. I can keep my back to a minimum of pain and soreness while still getting things done... my lower back that is...

I also have trouble between my shoulder blades and especially in my neck. The beautiful curves that my spine is supposed to have, have left home. No beautiful curves here, just straight , straight spine from bottom rib to base of skull.

Part of the problem is my ample bosom and the bra's I have to wear to be able to function normally, as well as car accidents and childhood trauma.

I don't know how to manage my shoulder and neck pain.

It is making me really sad because I simply cannot do the things I used to be able to do. I couldn't even reach into the cupboard above my head to get the spices and herbs down today - pain, agony, hurt.

I could take pain relief but I am so sensitised to medication now that even panadol knocks me around and to take what I need to manage the pain would knock me out completely and then I could do nothing at all so I have to struggle through and realise I simply cannot do what I used to be able to any more.

We will get there, but being faced with my physical limitations - as well as caring for Chris with hers is a real struggle right now. I have always been able to take care of the things that Chris couldn't but I can't now and it really hurts - physically and emotionally - Please send Angels...

Am planning to be at the Mediumship meeting at the Cottage on Monday - a break from packing will do me good - will have to see how I go though...

Love to all, Karen