I am struggling everyday to stop the anxiety from overtaking me, this is not an unfamiliar struggle - just one I haven't had to deal with for a while. Actually, I am not struggling, because I know what I need to do and I am doing it but it takes constant awareness and vigilance and it is very tiring.
I have done some of the most amazing readings in the last few days! It is really lovely to be reading for people who I read for last christmas, so many of them have sought me out and been so excited when they found me. One lady I have been reading for for about 2 years now keeps sending new people to me, everyone who comes up to stay in her holiday house has a reading - it is wonderful.
My readings have changed significantly though! I am being called to read differently and to be more direct. It is an interesting change and one a few readers who I talk to around the world are all experiencing. It feels like we have become the wake-up call now and we are no longer a little gentle tinkling bell, we are a great big clanging bell for the people who come seeking answers.
Where we are going to move to is still undecided. Beloved is really struggling with leaving Tea Gardens because of the promise we made her Mum. The suggestion made the other day was that we buy a cheap and fuel efficient car and move to Hawks Nest so that I can drive back and forward between Newcastle and here. That actually feels less scary than leaving all together yet my concern is that I will not have the freedom to do as I need to... by that I mean... Beloved is so precious and loving that she likes to accompany me wherever I go to make sure I am safe. Me driving long distance alone is almost unheard of since we got together. I LOVE that fact that she wants to take care of me and keep me safe - it makes me feel so special and loved - yet there are occaisionally times when it feels suffocating! We need to have a serious discussion about it today because if we stay here I intend to be coming into Newcastle most days of the week and it will not be practical for Beloved to come with me every time.
It has been incredible the number of local people who have come into our little shop and told us how much they will miss us being around, or who have been excited to see our new venture and come in saying "We've been waiting to see what you would do next..." and then seem really disappointed when we say it is only temporary. It has been really surprising to both of us to discover that we are held in high esteem by many, many people in this town - we never would have known. Very humbling!
Ahhhhh, what to do what to do.
I am grateful for:
- My Beloved who adores me and cares for me like no other
- My Puppies who I adore and who bring light and Joy into every day
- The blessing of doing readings and being able to support others on their journey
- My Sister and her family
- Our house selling and relieving a huge financial strain
- Teaching
- Writing
- My ever changing connection with Spirit
- A Course In Miracles
- Reiki
- Every day that I wake up and get to interact with others!
Wishing you a day filled with Rainbows and Joy!
PS: The Womens Retreat weekend is still being planned though it has been delayed a little because of our upcoming move... I will keep you posted!
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